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A Comparison of the Costumes and Music in Two Movies of Romeo and Juliet

This is a comparison of the costumes and music in two movie versions of a scene in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Jim's feedback:

"This is an interesting comparison. You should italicize "Romeo and Juliet." To describe each movie in a separate paragraph would help the reader. In either case, you should avoid starting a lengthy paragraph with a short statement and a colon. Instead, you can just place a comma after the introduction to each paragraph. Note that the aspects of these movies don't make each other unique; they make themselves unique. Perhaps people yelling and screaming does not constitute music; you could instead describe this as the ambient sound. Your description of the outfits in the second film flirts perilously close to a comma splice, i.e., the linking of what could be two sentences by a comma, and it would be good to place a period or semicolon after "1990s." When you say it gets dismal, it would be better to say it becomes dismal."

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