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A Letter to Request a Correction to an Academic Transcript Error

This persuasive piece takes the form of a letter alerting the reader to an institutional error and requesting it be amended. The student makes use of various rhetorical appeals in the argument, including pathos in the form of an example of a similar problem, logos by defining the problem according to the relevant metric, and ethos in the formal tone, diction, and syntax.
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This essay received an A by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received an A by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"This is a strong example of persuasive writing--well-organized, logically presented evidence, an assertive and professional tone, and a clearly defined goal and request. My main comment is to proofread a few more times to catch some awkward phrasing and the occasional mechanics issues. Because the second-to-last paragraph is an important moment of rhetorical appeal, I suggest giving some attention to the phrase "it prevails." While I don't suggest elongating the closing of the letter--you've done a good job keeping things to the point--I do suggest making clear what "it" refers to, exactly. Another related suggestion would be to end that sentence after "department" and go straight into "I would be glad..." This will keep the pacing efficient and robust if you feel expanding on "it prevails" will slow the ending down too much."

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