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An Analysis of Fischer-Price's Laugh & Learn Smart Stages Puppy Toy

This essay describes the "Laugh & Learn Smart Stages Puppy," a toy by Fischer-Price. The student identifies the qualities of the toy that make it fit for young children.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bob's feedback:

"This sounds like a great toy for children and is an interesting topic for your paper. You've identified a lot of points that make this toy great for young kids. Some organization and focus will go a long way toward tightening up your writing and making your message clearer.

You focus quite a bit on gender neutrality, especially in your conclusion, but this doesn't factor much into your body paragraphs. If you want this to be the focus of your paper, make sure you return to this point. If not, you might consider devoting a paragraph to its importance, but make sure the overall paper follows a central theme. A solid thesis statement in your introduction will help identify your main idea.

There are a number of awkward sentences, grammatical issues, and misused words that should be addressed by a round of proofreading. This will further help the clarity and focus issues."

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