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Analysis of "On Being a Cripple" by Nancy Mairs

In this analytical essay, a student discusses "On Being a Cripple" by Nancy Mairs. The student explores how Mairs shares insights into her life with multiple sclerosis by telling personal stories and organizing the topics she covers in a strategic way.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Angela's feedback:

"Your introduction reflects your understanding of how to craft an essay, but your topic sentence for the second body paragraph should be revised so that it better references your thesis. In addition, while you've chosen some good quotes to support your argument, the quoted material itself is quite long. Consider cutting quotes down to include only the most essential bits that work best when told in Mairs's own voice. This will leave more room for your personal reasoning and analysis, which is important since this essay should be focused on what you have to say on the topic, not simply what Mairs thinks. Remember as well that you can paraphrase Mairs's content in order to avoid including long quotes. An edit to take care of writing convention errors is advised. One repeated mistake is the lack of an apostrophe to show possession with the name "Mairs," and you've got a typo with the word "extremis4." Your introduction and use of the abbreviation MS should be revisited as well. Finally, a concluding paragraph would be a valuable way to summarize your ideas and give the reader your final thoughts on Mairs's work."

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