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Buck's Masters in The Call of the Wild

This essay discusses the differences between Buck's masters in The Call of the Wild. The student notes the stark differences between the trio of Hal, Charles, and Mercedes and the kind and competent John Thornton.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bob's feedback:

"You do a great job of contrasting Hal, Charles, and Mercedes with John Thornton. The idea that Thornton is Buck's reward for enduring the others is particularly intriguing. Your essay mostly stays on task, but there are a few areas that should be cleared up.

The way you first list the owners in the intro makes it sound like you're discussing four different homes for Buck. Make sure to indicate that Hal, Charles, and Mercedes together represent one group. You might consider, "most notably John Thornton and the inexperienced trio of Hal, Charles, and Mercedes." The phrase "both these masters" is also problematic since four people are involved.

There is a paragraph near the end that seems to be unfinished. It starts off by repeating information that has already been given, so it can probably be deleted entirely. There is a fair amount of repetition throughout the essay that should be pared down. Consider working with an editor to address ideas that have already been introduced.

Make sure to proofread as well as there are a number of errors. Remember that when recounting the action in a work of fiction, the present tense should be used."

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