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Causes and Effects of Obesity

In this informative essay, a student explores some causes and effects of obesity. The student discusses how two important causes of obesity are genetic and environmental factors. Meanwhile, the student also explains that obesity makes an individual more at risk to suffer from diseases such as diabetes and heart disease.
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2
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432
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Angela's feedback:

"You have a succinct writing style that works well with presenting information in an authoritative manner; however, you should be wary of inadvertently misrepresenting facts with your writing due to a lack of nuance with your word choice. For example, you don't want to suggest that being obese automatically means an individual will suffer from a disease such as diabetes or heart disease. Overall, though, you've structured your essay well, so it's easy to identify the basic elements of an essay and understand how your paragraphs are working in concert to support your thesis. If you want to strike a more academic tone, you should avoid using contractions. Keep in mind that commas and periods should come before a closing quotation mark. A final edit of the work should pay special attention to your use of commas and situations where using the word "and" would be more appropriate."

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