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How Being Homecoming Queen Helped Me Understand Identity

This personal reflection considers questions of identity and first impressions. The student considers both the situation of other's judgements (using the example of racism) as well as active creation or suppression of a personal identity (social media profiles).
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"You've done a great job creating an interesting and reflective discussion that uses personal experience and solid source material. Your flow and voice is strong, creating a highly readable experience; I do suggest a proofread to catch some awkward phrasing and word choice, as well as some mechanics issues (for example, the second sentence is incomplete). The second half of the paper (starting "In today's strict social construct, ...") feels somewhat separate from the first half because the examples of being homecoming queen and the reference to a collage have been dropped. These elements open the paper, so the reader will expect them to appear in each area of the discussion. Can you integrate the two parts of the paper more tightly? For example, Instagram has a collage quality--can you use the themes you introduce early in the paper to bring that personal reflection to the second part of this paper? Finally--and this may or may not apply--I urge you to consider your own positionality to make sure drawing parallels between your own experience and Kendi's is appropriate. This should also be incorporated into the discussion itself as needed."

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