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How Speeding Tickets Prevent Traffic Violations

In this essay on speeding, the student shows how negative consequences--speeding tickets and related fines, court appearances, traffic school, higher insurance rates--dissuade people from future infractions.
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This essay received an A by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received an A by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

traffic violation, top gun
Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"This is a solid essay with many strengths that demonstrate your control over the essay form (structure, organization), argumentation (logical and clear progression of ideas with specific examples to connect with the reader), and writing mechanics (grammar, punctuation, etc.). I recommend showing your use of sources as allowed by your prompt and style guide (e.g., in-text citations, a bibliography or works cited, or signal phrases in the text). This can help further demonstrate for the reader your ethos and credibility. This also presents an opportunity to source anecdotes and statistics that can bring more oomph to the discussion, evoking both pathos and logos through memorable details.

Related, consider spending a little time in the introduction explaining why these laws exist--what is the problem with speeding? Why do people keep breaking the law and why is this a bad thing? This can provide context and urgency. To zoom in on another point, the hyperbolic "close to a death sentence" and the implications about the other people in court form a weaker moment in the argumentation. As discussed above, consider swapping these out for something sourced: you might be able to find testimonies from people describing going to pay a ticket and quote from their words, allowing you to create the emotions-based moment without overreaching your authorial position and ethos."

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