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My Bedroom Is My Sanctuary

In this descriptive essay, a student explains what her bedroom looks like and why it’s an important space to her. The student reflects on how her bedroom is a judgement-free zone where she can enjoy some solitude since she is the youngest of four children.
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2
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376
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Angela's feedback:

"You provide a rich description of your bedroom that makes it easy for the reader to picture what you’re talking about, and your conclusion effectively communications the importance of the space to you. While the ideas expressed in your thesis statement are solid, the statement itself is currently a run-on sentence and needs further revision. The sentence fragment beginning “In particular” should also be recast for clarity. Your use of hyphens should be reviewed. The description “tiny-thickened wall” is confusing and awkward and doesn’t need a hyphen. Meanwhile, a compound modifier that precedes a noun (e.g., stay-at-home necessities) should be hyphenated to improve readability."

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