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My Thoughts on Moving to A New Neighborhood

This personal essay describes the student's old neighborhood and the emotions of leaving behind the house they grew up in and their friends when they had to move.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"This essay shows that you have a great eye for detail and narrative. Using the house-by-house "tour" to organize the essay draws the reader into the world, creating a sense of movement and arrival into the thoughts and emotions of the conclusion. The timing of whether the move has been undertaken already or not is a little confusing, with the opening suggesting it already happened and the ending describing it as happening in the future. A targeted revision will help clear this up, probably by tweaking the verb tense or clarifying the use of a frame for the narrative. A similar task will be a thorough proofread to catch errors and typos -- keep an eye out for correct punctuation."

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