Sleep Deprivation: Wendy Troxel's TED Talk "Why Schools Should Start Later For Teens"

This is an essay about sleep deprivation. The author presents their own opinions on the topic along with points made by Wendy Troxel in her TED Talk titled "Why School Should Start Later for Teens." Wendy Troxel suggests that sleep deprivation is an epidemic among teenagers. Not getting enough sleep causes problems with brain activity, behavior, and body growth. Statistics mentioned are that teens with sleep problems are more likely to have used alcohol, feelings of sadness and hopelessness increase, and suicide attempts increase. In general, society does not feel that teens having sleep deprivation is an issue and that they need to "toughen up, so they are ready for the real world."

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Jenn's feedback:

"This paper is off to a great start. With only a little bit more work, you will be able to improve it significantly. You have done an excellent job opening your paper with a detailed and in-depth introduction that explains the purpose of your writing. You are even off to a great start with the thesis statement. I encourage you to add the title of the TED Talk to the thesis statement and summarize the main points you will cover in the body of your paper. It is also quite clear that you maintained focus on that purpose throughout your whole essay. While you have done a great job communicating prominent of the points of the TED Talk, there are a couple of places where you introduce a new idea or topic with little or no transition. This affects the cohesiveness and leaves the reader wondering how ideas and concepts are related to each other. Regarding organization, I suggest that you write a more elaborate conclusion. Use the ending of your paper as an opportunity to summarize the main points that you made in the body of the document and relate them to your thesis statement. Overall, the formatting of your essay is good. I would advise that you make sure that all of your paragraphs are indented half an inch. Last, grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure issues are scattered throughout that essay that you should resolve to increase reading comprehension."

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In-text citation:

(Kibin, 2025)

Reference list entry:

Kibin. (2025). Sleep deprivation: wendy troxel's ted talk "why schools should start later for teens". http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/sleep-deprivation-wendy-troxels-ted-talk-why-schools-should-start-later-for-teens-FfzyxEiN

Be sure to capitalize proper nouns (e.g. Egypt) and titles (e.g. Macbeth) in the essay title portion of your citation.

In-text citation:

("Sleep Deprivation: Wendy Troxel's TED Talk "Why Schools Should Start Later For Teens".")

Works Cited entry:

"Sleep Deprivation: Wendy Troxel's TED Talk "Why Schools Should Start Later For Teens"." Kibin, 2025, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/sleep-deprivation-wendy-troxels-ted-talk-why-schools-should-start-later-for-teens-FfzyxEiN

Footnote:

1. "Sleep Deprivation: Wendy Troxel's TED Talk "Why Schools Should Start Later For Teens"." Kibin, 2025. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/sleep-deprivation-wendy-troxels-ted-talk-why-schools-should-start-later-for-teens-FfzyxEiN.

Bibliography entry:

"Sleep Deprivation: Wendy Troxel's TED Talk "Why Schools Should Start Later For Teens"." Kibin, 2025. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/sleep-deprivation-wendy-troxels-ted-talk-why-schools-should-start-later-for-teens-FfzyxEiN.