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The Blame Game: Who's Responsible for the Deaths of Romeo and Juliet?

This analytical essay examines who shares responsibility for the deaths of Romeo and Juliet in Shakespeare's play about the two star-crossed lovers. The student identifies Tybalt, Friar Lawrence, and the feud between the Montagues and Capulets as contributing to the deaths of Romeo and Juliet, using details and quotes from the play to support that argument.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Crystal's feedback:

"Awesome job clearly outlining what characters you identify as contributing to the deaths of Romeo and Juliet! However, consider ending the intro with one cohesive sentence that frames your full thesis. You also craft clear and specific topic sentences (though it would be good to make them a part of each paragraph rather than one-sentence paragraphs) that focus on Tybalt, Friar Lawrence, and the feud between the Montagues and the Capulets, respectively; these sentences frame your body paragraphs well. While your body paragraphs stay well-focused, all three are very summary-heavy with very little analysis. Instead, try to find a balance (more analysis than summary), with your analysis laying out the logic of why the quotes and details support the person(s) being responsible for the deaths of Romeo and Juliet. With the conclusion, you do a fantastic job of synthesizing info about how all three aspects contributed to the lovers' deaths, and I like how you end with a bigger takeaway--but be careful with POV/perspective changes (i.e., avoid "you"). Finally, while your overall word choices and many aspects of grammar are in good shape, make sure to proofread for typos, smooth flow (a few spots have awkward phrasing), comma use (especially commas with participle phrases), and uneven spacing between paragraphs."

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