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The Death Penalty Is Not Effective

In this argumentative essay, a student explains why the death penalty is not effective. The student asserts that life in prison is a more effective punishment because the death penalty constitutes cruel and unusual punishment and does not work as a deterrent to keep others from committing crimes.
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3
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674
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Angela's feedback:

"You successfully convey your stance that the death penalty is not effective, but your argument as a whole would be more compelling if you offered more outside proof or evidence to back up your claims. Each of your body paragraphs would be stronger if you spent less time discussing what the other side believes and more time thoroughly explaining your position. Arguing both sides in each paragraph can be confusing to the reader; this is especially true in your third body paragraph where by the end it sounds like you're endorsing the counterargument to your point on whether the death penalty acts as a deterrent to future crime. Although you have a good handle on writing conventions, a review is needed to ensure that your reasoning (expressed through your own words) is sound. For example, at the very end of your essay, you say that people should not have to "sit and wait for their time to be up." However, this description can be applied to someone sentenced to death or life imprisonment, so it doesn't work as a concluding remark on why a life sentence is better than capital punishment."

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