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The Fight for Women’s Rights and Gender Equality in Nigeria

In this argumentative essay, a student discusses how women in Nigeria have made many gains in terms of obtaining equal rights to their male counterparts. However, the student asserts that gender inequality still exists and remains a problem.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Angela's feedback:

"You make many fair points about gender equality, but the purpose of your paper and your main argument doesn’t become clear until the last paragraph of the essay. Revision is needed to ensure that your thesis statement better represents the paper’s content, especially with regard to the supporting points you present in your body paragraphs. Your discussion of the achievement of equal rights versus gender equality would also benefit from some revision to bring more nuance to the picture. The paper would look neater overall if you consistently used the serial comma, and a space should not be inserted before a comma but after it. The phrase “a few decades ago” is used a lot in the beginning of your essay and makes your writing unnecessarily repetitive. There’s at least one subject-verb agreement problem with the construction “Nigeria . . . were.”"

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