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The Necessities of Obeying Your Parents: An Informative Essay

This personal essay argues the importance of listening to one's parents and describes a personal story that gives a better understanding of why this is a vital part of childhood.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Christina's feedback:

"Starting with a rhetorical question is a good strategy for hooking your reader! While your thesis statement isn't "traditional", exactly, it does a good job of laying out what your paper will focus on (obeying one's parents) and segues well into your personal anecdote. You also did a nice job of transitioning between paragraphs. To improve this essay, you might consider adding factual details (from outside research) to further support your arguments. Your writing would also benefit from a round of proofreading to resolve sentence structure and grammar errors; while they aren't numerous, they do impact the weight of your words."

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