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Why Consent Should be a Mandatory Part of Sex Ed

This persuasive paper argues that Australia's school curriculum must incorporate consent into its sex ed programming to help combat the effects of social media misinformation, peer pressure, and parents' lack of resources.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"You are off to a good start, with your main points organized into a clear overall structure. As you move forward in the writing process, make sure you proofread and clean up the formatting (e.g., spaces between the paragraphs, as well as any style guide-specific requirements).

In terms of immediate next steps, I recommend a focus on higher-order argumentation. In this current draft, I see a number of areas where the discussion tends to meander or rely on rhetorical questions (Why do parents...?; Does Australia even care...?). Executing and integrating research into this paper will be key to persuading the reader. By shifting the language, logic, and presentation away from speculation, you can center the focus on credible sources, clear claims, and actionable recommendations. This will bolster the paper's ethos and help the reader understand the reality and urgency of the situation."

Learn more about this feedback