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Why I Love Playing Softball

In this personal reflection, the student describes how their early experience playing t-ball has grown into a love of softball nurtured by the sport's team spirit, physical demands, and opportunities to travel and meet new people.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"Your organization here is strong, opening with a hook, and lining up both description of experience with a deeper exploration of the "thematic" (personal, reflective) value of the sport. I notice some capitalization errors that a good proofread should catch and correct, as well as some diction choices ("wanna") that should be considered for appropriateness. I'd also like to check in with your prompt: you've done a great job giving specific examples and reasons for your love of the game, but I notice the prompt asks about your first experience, as well. Does your current hook describe the first time you hit the ball? Make this more clear, and consider expanding that narrative a little into the first paragraph to ensure a direct response to the prompt."

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