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Why My Vote Matters

In this scholarship essay, a student addresses the topic of why voting matters. The student points out that voting in a country such as the United States has local, national, and international implications and that revered historical figures have proven how a single voice can make a difference.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Angela's feedback:

"Your overall message that voting is a very important activity comes through, and you provide some valid reasons for the importance of voting. However, your essay's organization could use a bit of work. Try taking a step back to decide on clear reasons why voting is important and then build your body paragraphs based on those reasons. With your current content, the two key reasons to vote seem to be (1) because voting in the United States has far-reaching implications and (2) because historical figures have shown that one voice can make a difference. Once you've decided on your reasons, adding more researched content or facts to support your main points would strengthen your argument. In terms of MLA formatting, note that you shouldn't skip extra lines in between your paragraphs. While your writing skills are solid overall, remember that if you use the pronoun "one," you should stick with it instead of switching to "he or she." Finally, there might be some confusion between your use of "minor" and "minority," so make sure you're using the correct term for a given situation."

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