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Why We Must Take Action to Save the Great Barrier Reef from Coral Bleaching

This persuasive paper presents a range of actions to tackle the urgent issue of coral bleaching in the Great Barrier Reef. The student argues that small, daily changes can help and also gives information on organizations (Great Barrier Reef Foundation) and political action (the Paris Agreement).
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2
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826
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"Your argument is passionately presented, you define the stakes and risks, and you stay solution-oriented with specific calls to action. Great job! You are right on the cusp of a higher grade; to get there, I have two main suggestions. First, I want to encourage you to proofread for clarity. You have a good sense of sentence structure and flow, but sometimes word usage (or possible missing words) get in the way of the reader's understanding. If this happens at a crucial moment (like the first sentence of the second-to-last paragraph--"even if..." or "unless..." action is taken?), all the hard persuasive work you've done unravels. My second recommendation involves two areas to refine argumentation. First, I suggest defining coral bleaching somewhere in the first few paragraphs. Use high impact facts/data (with sources) if possible--you might move up the 93% figure that is currently at the bottom of the page. The contrast between the sobering facts and your vibrant opening will really grab a reader's attention, even in an audience that already knows what coral bleaching is. I would also encourage you to touch on the counterargument a little bit more. (You touch on a lack of care/concern and pessimism.) You might give these opposing stances a little more attention throughout the paper to help assure your readers that you recognize the challenges. This will help readers respond to your calls to action."

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